She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
