There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
