when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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