come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
