Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
