i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
