I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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