Well douche your snatch and let's go!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
