Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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