if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
