you're like a bully in the Christmas story
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
