You're so nebulous sometimes
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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