we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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