Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My ass is underappreciated
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
