he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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