Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
