Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
