dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
