3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
