Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
