we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize