We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm sobbing to NWA
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize