Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i think my cat just said my name.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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