had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
