There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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