I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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