Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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