Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Pants are for mortals
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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