Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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