butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
