OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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