The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
