I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
