You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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