his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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