There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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