I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize