I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
