Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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