i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
