Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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