I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
