That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
