She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
