I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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