she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can I color on your dick again?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
