In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
