Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
