I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
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You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
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I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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