Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
