i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My cat gives me a boner
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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