You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize