Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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