The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
