brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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