I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Randomize
