in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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