whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Less talking, more tequila
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
