i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize