My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
