Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
