I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
