I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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