Life is so much better after having sex.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
