let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
