My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
