he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
