Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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