He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
