If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize