okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
