some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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