You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
